Starting Over

I never thought I would be writing a blog, but lately my emotions have gotten the best of me. Maybe this will give me an out for my feelings.

I may not be "starting over" per say, but that is how this journey feels right now. My appointment with a new RE is in 5 days and I am freaking out. I am nervous that we have gotten this far and she will want to start from square one. I am probably overreacting, which I certainly hope is true.

The days lately have seemed so long. It has been 2 weeks since the dreaded beta hell started and will be 2 weeks on Friday since we got the bad news. I just don't feel like myself. Spending the weekend in Chicago really helped to clear my mind, but it was only a band-aid. Now that I am back to reality, I have zero motivation. I am so sick and tired of this road and wish there were a detour. I feel like every direction we have gone has lead to a dead end. Just when I started to feel like we were getting somewhere, this happens.

Greg has been talking about getting his sleeve finished soon. It has been tradition for us that when one gets a new tat, the other gets one too. I am sort of itching for a new one, even though after getting my rib cage done last year I vowed to never go through that again. Tattoos are addicting, what more can I say? I am really thinking about getting something small, to remember this baby that we just lost. Then again, do I want that always weighing on my mind? Maybe something IF related. Although IF is something I want to forget too. Ugh decisions.